Life has been brutal these last few weeks. I mean, brutal like I was almost to the point of asking, “What else could go wrong?”. I said almost. I have better sense than to ever ask that question because things could always be worse. So here I am struggling with both the question to ask God and my response to life's hardships. I was stuck and I mean really stuck in a rut!
I was really starting to think things couldn’t get any worse. I had an abnormal EKG, my doctor suspected I was having heart abnormalities. Freaked out, I finally schedule the consult with the cardiologist but they don’t have appointments for 4 weeks! Like seriously, that’s ridiculous. So for 4 weeks I checked my heart rate every 10 seconds or so. I woke up out of my sleep afraid that my heart would just stop and I’d be dead, leaving my 3 kids without a mom. How do I respond to this fear, to this diagnosis, to this sleep and mental altering curveball?
So my health and my nerves were BAD! Then my kids... Parents can attest to the struggle of being parents. Trying to balance my own mental health and the mental health of my kiddos has been
trying. I can honestly admit, I’ve failed miserably with the juggling act. I dropped the ball these last 4 weeks, well truthfully, since school started back in August. How do I respond when my kids are testing my gangsta and my ever so crazy heart rate and blood pressure?
And finally my marriage and money. I don’t know about you but when my money is funny, my marriage suffers. It’s something about the fear of not being able to make ends meet that scares the heck out of me. Especially since I have 3 jobs!!! I know it’s not the lack of provision from God, it’s the lack of priorities on my part but nevertheless, here I was in turmoil.
I felt more alone these last 4 weeks than I have in several years. I admit, when I have struggles, I try to hide them from the public. I never want new believers in Christ to misinterpret faith and Gods love for them through the sending of His son, Jesus Christ because of me. So most often I keep my trials and tribulations to myself. So I’m getting whooped up! Like literally beat up! And I come across a scripture, Hebrews 13: 5-6. The jest of the scripture is don’t consume yourself with money, be content with whatever and wherever you are because God has said He willl never leave or forsake you. When life throws you a curve ball, it’s ok, because we can confidently response to life’s unpleasant situations with the word of God. The scripture goes on to say, “ Respond confidently, The Lord is my helper; I will NOT be afraid!" Wow!
How awesome is that?! The Lord is our helper. We have nothing to fear; we have nothing to be afraid of. There's another scripture in Isaiah chapter 41, "Do not fear, for I am with you; don't be dismayed for I am your God." God is giving us the answers. Like He is literally giving us the teachers test answer key. We can and should always respond with the word of God. It's kinda like when I say something to my kids and then they use it against me. I can't go back on my word so I honor it. That's how I think about God's word but even more perfectly. He will not go back on His word. Single single scripture, He stands behind and will honor. The bible tells us that heaven and earth will past away before His word comes back void.
So all that to say this don't delay in your response to the tricks of the enemy, to your fear or depression, to your money woes. God is for you! He is your helper! Respond CONFIDENTLY that this too shall pass!
Oh by the way, my heart is as healthy as they come! All that distress and for what? For God to show up just like He always does. Be blessed!